As ironic as it sounds, I actually have a big exam later in the afternoon just less than 24 hours out from my Christmas vacation, my freaking last Christmas vacation while inside this body for that matter. But, you know, I get very lazy a great deal of times, which might also hinder me from achieving such a dream. I also tend to like blogging about something right before such exams. It kinda gets irritating a bit somehow, but you gotta scratch that damn itch, I say. Scratch it with a hopeful long lived series of blog posts entitled Random Dreams. I'm writing these because I feel strongly for these aspirations in life and want to put it in writing the various emotions tied to each one of them. Hopefully, I can remember to look back and read these over and over again in the distant future, so that I'll be reminded of the various silly, serious, impractical, practical, big, small, meaningful or senseless dreams I wanted at this certain point in life. I know I won't be able to achieve many of these, but life is short, and the human mind can only remember so much. So, let's begin with that very first big dream.
Becoming a doctor might be a very subjective experience. It's a matter of fact that not all medical schools are created equals. For sure, there are some that make my medical school look like a relative walk in the park, as there are some out there that which brands us that "No Life" label (although I really beg to differ). Of course, in this day and age, becoming an awesome doctor tends to be attributed to being like Dr. House or living your practice in Grey's Anatomy, and I can't deny the fact that those were pretty encouraging things to help boost your must-be-a-doctor drives. Being that awesome jerk who you have no choice but to go to seems like a lot of fun, but I doubt that will help pay the bills later on in life.
My mom told me that she remembered when I had to go to the doctor's office as a child, I got pretty impatient with the long line of patients and the bastard doctor who made us all wait in that humid and cramped doctor's office. So, apparently, I probably blurted out in traditional kid like semi-shouting volume that when I grow up, I'll become a doctor and make everyone wait for me too. Revenge probably has a hidden additional driving force for aspiring doctors, I say. But you know, I somehow also want to be a cut above the rest when it comes to punctuality. Be the apple pie among chocolate pudding and make a difference to the customary waiting game of health care in the Philippines. I just hope my peculiar disdain for early mornings won't turn me into those pompous bastards too in the long run.
And let's face it, the thought of money crossed our minds one way or another when you think medicine. It all depends whether you're the one taking or giving out medicine. It's not uncommon to peg wealth to this profession, so as long as you do a darn good job and keep your patients alive and cranky, and yes, I admit that money was indeed on my mind when I decided to pursue the path of a physician. Apparently, it's a common misconception that being a doctor will strike you a virtual gold mine. The moment you leave medical school, whether you realize it or not, you are indebted to the exorbitant sum of money your parents (or other benefactors) spent to get you where you are (and much more if you're studying abroad). Knowing my enrollment fees and the various expenses such as pricey textbooks, those numbers are something that would shame to your name if you don't use your relatively godly knowledge to good use. So, it's really gonna take you a really large amount of patients to recover and pay back the expenses, so for God's Sake, don't be daft and don't do it for the money.
Some of you may have noticed or may have been a victim to a racket I like to call Business Medicine. Something I definitely hope I won't be practicing when make a name for my medically unknown self. It seems that some doctors out there have a referral system of sort that forces a patient to seek the advice of other experts of various fields of medicine, and berates the shit out of you if you decide to smart up and get useful laboratory tests before his friends can rob you blind. My dad experienced this in Manila. Other more common forms of Business medicine you may be familiar with are the abuse of commissions you can receive with pharmaceutical companies and diagnostic laboratories. But really, what good does so much money do when you only want to have even more? I really see no point. A Rolex is the same Rolex when you buy it years later. Don't let patients suffer for your conceited worldly pleasures (which will probably be outdated a year later, just like smartphones). Future Dr. James, you better not stoop that low and think everything is about the money. Who cares about so many cars? You're already having problems with their batteries discharging due to lack of use. Be content with your stupid game room and gadgets. And don't you dare call me naive, God dammit!
I better get back to doing a second read. It's a good thing the exam is scheduled in the afternoon, or I'd be shitting bricks right about now. Remember, Future Dr. James, be at least half of that ridiculously awesome, handsome, sociable, kooky, sarcastic bad ass surgeon who speaks fluent French, Spanish and Italian you always wanted to be! Younger James says hi to your awesomeness!